Life never ceases to amaze me. Was it John Lennon who said,  “Life is what’s happening when you’re busy making other plans?” No matter what plans I seem to make lately, something else seems to happen. The plan was to move back to Crestone at the end of April, which very much seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe not the easiest thing to do, but the right thing. Everything seemed to be falling into place. I hired a new caregiver couple to move into my studio building next to my house from 2500 miles away and everything was set up.

Then my body revolted. The UTI I had had for three months would not go away. I fractured my ankle, reminiscent of the femur fracture, which is perhaps reminiscent of the numbness in my thigh. Is this another manifestation of fear of moving forward? An example of being frozen on the precipice? That seems to be a recurring theme in my life. The earliest occurrence that I know of was in my birth process. Labor had to be induced after it stopped. Interesting how when we understand our birth process, the pieces of many patterns can fall into place.

Another recurring theme in my life has been to try to control and micromanage things. The antidote to control is faith. I essentially grew up in an atheistic household. Faith was not a part of my  upbringing.  After feeling a lot of resistance, I am beginning to learn to sit back and watch life unfold. This illness has helped to bring that teaching home. As awful as the illness has been at times, I have become a better person as a result of dealing with it. I believe illnesses, serious injuries and addictions are likely contracted for on a soul level. This must not be confused with, “you brought it on yourself,” or “your negative thinking created this,” or “you just wanted attention.” These are irresponsible projections people recklessly impose on others, not unlike blaming the victim. The contract is made from a much deeper part of your Self. Sometimes my self doubt takes me into confusion about this and my friends remind me of the Truth. One of my favorite sayings is:  “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and will sing it for you once you have forgotten it.”–Anonymous. Thank you Beloved friends, anonymous or otherwise.

I’m trying to not be repetitive with what I’ve written before, my point today is about letting go and following the energy. After breaking my ankle, I was unable to ride for four days in my car so I had to make alternative plans. My brother and sister-in-law had invited me to come to the cottage I grew up in, located on a lake that they now own, after I moved out of the apartment. At that point it did not seem possible.

I guess the Universe had other plans. Here I am at the lake taking care of business. Now I’m able to follow up on my bladder issues, my ankle issues and spend more quality time with my family. John Lennon sure had/has it going on.

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