* keystone – a central cohesive source of support and stability; The central supporting element of a whole.

Pennsylvania is known as the Keystone* state. And I am three days away from leaving Pennsylvania, the state where I was born and raised. Yesterday was a very big day; I had two significant revelations. The first was that the urinary tract infection has recurred. I suspected that it would because my bladder is not emptying completely and there is an area that holds stagnation. When I asked the doctor if she thought the outcome would be different this time she responded, “I don’t know.” She increased the dosage of the antibiotic and my family felt strongly that I should comply, so I did. I hoped that it would work, but it didn’t. Actually, I was quite devastated for a few hours that it didn’t in spite of expecting that outcome. I see the urologist tomorrow and that will be my last medical appointment in Pennsylvania. Hopefully, he will have some suggestions for dealing with the stagnation.

The second revelation involved “the old woman archetype” that I’ve been working with for the last decade. It became clear that I have been trying to “complete this energy” or in some way bring it to an end, that it was somehow negative and needing to be exorcised. In my meditation last night, SHE was invited to join my circle of guides and family. A group of guides had pointed this out to me and it immediately felt like TRUTH. As soon as I initiated this shift, a whole layer of grief was released. When I think of how long I have been pushing this energy away, I am humbled at how blind one can be.

When the tick appeared, which I described in the blog entry Mama Mia, the desire to push this energy away escalated. When I accepted the energy of  “the old woman archetype” instead of rejecting it, the relief I experience was profound. I realize that this reframing and the subsequent integration of this mysterious crone energy was probably the keystone of my most challenging work. This was the key that supported the whole structure of my healing work.  As I spend time in meditation, I begin to honor the positive attributes of the old woman. What I realized is that she represents all of the aspects of myself that I had to grow into.  In order to wake up each day and live my life in this particular costume with this particular role I needed to integrate her courage. She represents the wisdom earned from a very demanding curriculum that sometimes makes me want to scream. If this were not the case, they wouldn’t call it  courage. She also represent the wounding of the Feminine for many generations in my family.

Interestingly enough, I wrote the previous paragraphs yesterday and today read an article about the Venus transit that happened yesterday, which represents the rise of the Feminine. It will be happening the entire month of June. I love the unexpected affirmations that come from Beyond.