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It’s interesting the different relationships people have to social media. Take Facebook for example. It might be interesting to expand what social media can represent and see it as a metaphor. Some people want to accrue as many friends as possible, perhaps because it proves something about themselves that they feel needs to be proven. Some people like to unfriend people as an existential statement; THERE, take that! People’s relationship to Facebook could be very metaphoric. My relationship, like everyone’s, varies from moment to moment. To be perfectly honest, I have experienced each scenario I described above. Perhaps our relationship to social media can be seen as a microcosm of life.

Certainly, Facebook could be seen as a proverbial mirror in which to see oneself and, consequently, offer a glimpse into one’s  sacred inner work. Does a person feel overwhelmed at the amount of time required to meet her own standards for participation? Then, how does one manage time in general? How does it feel to reconnecting with people from one’s past? What feelings get triggered? Does a person feel excited about the opportunities for connecting with others or does she want to stay separate in her own little world? People’s relationship to social media can be very revealing and help point to what energy leaks may be present in one’s life.

Lately, Facebook has been a path of transformation, of deep healing and reconciliation for me. I have had the opportunity to be a part of a deep healing not initiated by me, but one in which I cooperated. I guess social media is what you make of it. There were times I resented my participation in the Facebook community. Today however I feel triumphant. Healing has taken place, and forgiveness had triumphed. I am humbled by the power of honesty and integrity.

Here is what happened: I was contacted by a former boyfriend who had been very significant in the distant past, with whom I have had little or no contact since. He admitted to createing a drama with me in the past, which brought tremendous pain to the people most important people in his life. When he admitted that to me in such an honest way, I realized that not only had I been complicit, but it was one of the more hurtful scenarios I had been involved in in my early adult life, hurtful most especially to myself. When he offered to bring it from the darkness of the past into the light of the present, I jumped at it. How many of these damaging events do we have buried in the cauldron of our past experience without any conscious awareness, yet it becomes a pivotal event that engenders a great deal of self-hatred? True, it is painful to unearth and to re-experience these indiscretions, but living year-after-year in an unconscious way, building on one’s personality structure with a faulty cog in the foundation is, in my opinion, much more destructive. We then build our personalities on these false beliefs and we feel a ripple of that falsity throughout our entire lives. We continue to believe in the illusion of our indiscretion as our identities. To me, that is much more painful than to re-experiencing the indiscretion and then do the work required.

Today I am rejoicing in the revelation that I don’t have to maintain a false illusion of my personality flaws through my entire life, but I can return to the time and place of the indiscretion, make it right, and move on with a clearer, cleaner picture of who I, in reality, am. It takes self forgiveness and one has to honestly weed through a good deal shame in order to do this. Shame is the culprit that inevitably leads to self-hatred, which in turn creates a faulty foundation on which to build a healthy self-concept. The avoidance of feeling SHAME is what binds the old beliefs in place and keeps individuals from the liberation of one’s true self.

Who would’ve imagined that this level of healing can happen via social media as metaphor?

I wonder if I came into this world believing that my needs were too great or if this limiting belief became imprinted early in my development. I cannot remember a time when this illusory state of understanding didn’t seem like my reality. As a small child I was very emotional and labile. I suspect that this was overwhelming for my already overwhelmed mother.

I do not believe that babies come in as clean slates; on the contrary, souls enter human form with much work, or dharma to be done during their lifetime. Children develop much of their identities in relationship to their immediate family members that they have carefully selected in the spirit world. These are some of my esoteric opinions and probably not shared by many in the general public, however, there is a growing population of people who share in this belief either through direct experience with a near-death experience or having a loved one crossover or for whatever reason the “veil” thins and a whole “new” world opens up. Former cynic, Dr. Eben Alexander, is a Harvard neurosurgeon who is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this month after contracting rare form bacterial meningitis and recovering from a coma. He just wrote a book about his near death experience titled, Proof of Heaven.

In my personal family constellation, I was the first girl after two brothers with parents who already had way too much on their plates. Perhaps this nurtured the already existing belief that my needs were too much for the people around me. With this in mind, I was fortunate that my parents had the foresight to hire a nurse for my first three years of life who gave me the nurturance and consistency that I needed for my development.

Finally, in my sixtyth year on this planet, I am beginning to realize that, in fact, MY NEEDS ARE NOT TOO GREAT. And this has been quite a revelation. Needs are just needs and nothing more. It is the ‘nothing more’ that has become a revelation. Everyone has needs that are universal. My physical needs are perhaps greater than most with the circumstances created by the illness, but my emotional needs are pretty minimal at this point. Another way of saying this is that my emotional needs are easily understood and met by myself these days. The key to this is to identify the needs and acknowledge the beauty in the needs, and then to meet them relatively effortlessly.

I realize that an imprint such as this creates a holding pattern in the energetic system of the body that can be likened to a traffic jam. An energy blockage of this magnitude can wreak havoc in the system. Being in Pennsylvania for a year, where the original belief was born, seemed to have the effect of exaggerating it to such a degree that it could become completely conscious. Returning to Colorado, where this belief is not as operant, allowed for the realization of the illusory nature of this pattern and its ultimate release. Perhaps completing my second Saturn return, which can be described as “the last chance to get things right,” at the end of my stay in Pennsylvania was necessary for this release to take hold. Often prior to the release of such a deep insidious pattern, there is an intensification before it seems to burst through to completion. Regardless of what it took for this to occur, I feel tremendously lighter and very appreciative for the purification of this very painful recurring pattern.

Understanding one’s needs in life is an important prerequisite to being able to meet them and therefore have a much more satisfying life.


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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. more...

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