I wonder if I came into this world believing that my needs were too great or if this limiting belief became imprinted early in my development. I cannot remember a time when this illusory state of understanding didn’t seem like my reality. As a small child I was very emotional and labile. I suspect that this was overwhelming for my already overwhelmed mother.

I do not believe that babies come in as clean slates; on the contrary, souls enter human form with much work, or dharma to be done during their lifetime. Children develop much of their identities in relationship to their immediate family members that they have carefully selected in the spirit world. These are some of my esoteric opinions and probably not shared by many in the general public, however, there is a growing population of people who share in this belief either through direct experience with a near-death experience or having a loved one crossover or for whatever reason the “veil” thins and a whole “new” world opens up. Former cynic, Dr. Eben Alexander, is a Harvard neurosurgeon who is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this month after contracting rare form bacterial meningitis and recovering from a coma. He just wrote a book about his near death experience titled, Proof of Heaven.

In my personal family constellation, I was the first girl after two brothers with parents who already had way too much on their plates. Perhaps this nurtured the already existing belief that my needs were too much for the people around me. With this in mind, I was fortunate that my parents had the foresight to hire a nurse for my first three years of life who gave me the nurturance and consistency that I needed for my development.

Finally, in my sixtyth year on this planet, I am beginning to realize that, in fact, MY NEEDS ARE NOT TOO GREAT. And this has been quite a revelation. Needs are just needs and nothing more. It is the ‘nothing more’ that has become a revelation. Everyone has needs that are universal. My physical needs are perhaps greater than most with the circumstances created by the illness, but my emotional needs are pretty minimal at this point. Another way of saying this is that my emotional needs are easily understood and met by myself these days. The key to this is to identify the needs and acknowledge the beauty in the needs, and then to meet them relatively effortlessly.

I realize that an imprint such as this creates a holding pattern in the energetic system of the body that can be likened to a traffic jam. An energy blockage of this magnitude can wreak havoc in the system. Being in Pennsylvania for a year, where the original belief was born, seemed to have the effect of exaggerating it to such a degree that it could become completely conscious. Returning to Colorado, where this belief is not as operant, allowed for the realization of the illusory nature of this pattern and its ultimate release. Perhaps completing my second Saturn return, which can be described as “the last chance to get things right,” at the end of my stay in Pennsylvania was necessary for this release to take hold. Often prior to the release of such a deep insidious pattern, there is an intensification before it seems to burst through to completion. Regardless of what it took for this to occur, I feel tremendously lighter and very appreciative for the purification of this very painful recurring pattern.

Understanding one’s needs in life is an important prerequisite to being able to meet them and therefore have a much more satisfying life.