“You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”-Bob Marley

119-1911_IMGBy the time I entered Dr. Klinghardt’s office, I was already dependent on a wheelchair. Dr. Klinghardt had the dubious distinction of receiving the most intransigent cases of lyme disease that had failed to improve with other doctors and many had morphed into progressive degenerative illnesses. In one of his lectures, I remember hearing him say he would rather treat acute cases than illnesses such as multiple sclerosis. In retrospect, I can understand why. Dr. K is a world renowned M.D. PhD with offices in the US and Europe.

My work with Dr. Klinghardt began with working to bring my immune system into balance by clearing opportunistic infections and toxins that had taken over my body. I followed nearly every protocol he recommended, processing my own urine that had been filtered twice and then injected into my body, I changed my diet, learned about my family constellation and allowed multiple injections throughout all of the scars on my body in an attempt to open energetic pathways. One auspicious day, I remember Dr. Klinghardt asking me the question, “When you were a teenager did you incur a head injury that rendered you unconscious, like falling off a horse?” I was shocked by the question, because my answer was, unequivocally, “Yes!”

When I was preteen, I was riding my trainer’s horse in a horse show. All I remember is sitting in the saddle, nervously, and the ground coming up and hitting me. The next thing I remember is being in the truck on the way back home. There is no memory of what transpired between those memories. There was no recollection of being brought into the center of the ring during the class, my clothing being loosened or any other reports I later heard. There is no memory of his horse being trailered or me climbing into the truck. I only remember looking at my legs sitting in the truck upon our return. Our doctor made a house call and acknowledged a probable concussion, but no treatment was prescribed. We didn’t wear helmets those days.

How could Dr. Klinghardt have possibly known that I had a head injury? How did he know a horse was involved?

With the revelations of the latest research regarding head injuries in football and the long-term neurological illnesses being incurred, I couldn’t help but consider my history. Could one concussion effect my body to this degree? Did this accident seal my fate? Are we that fragile as humaings?

It was after I returned to a life with horses that the symptoms began to accelerate considerably. I had not been deterred out of fear. After all, I could always trust my body. So in my 50s I learned to jump horses. For having much fear in my life, it did not show up in physical activities. Could reconnecting with horses been a trigger for the symptoms?

Many of these questions are unknowable, especially on a medical level. I believe that an accelerated path such as what I have undertaken, cannot just be one fluky incident. I am not a victim in a cruel, arbitrary Universe. I have no doubt that this curriculum was required for me to evolve profoundly on a spiritual level. I know this to be true in my situation.

My daughter sustained a head injury in her 20s. When we went to see John of God in Brazil together as I began to limp an amazing thing happened. After a treatment of psychic surgery from Joao, we had been instructed to return to the casita where we slept for 24 hours straight. When we both awakened, her brow had swelled for no apparent reason. She had had a sunburn, but that would not explain her enlarged brow. She acknowledged that the only time she had experienced this was after her head injury. I believe that Casey had a profound healing that day in Brazil.

There was a reason that this illness was not cleared during my two week visit with John of God. At the time I believed that I had failed, but over time I have come to realize that healing is not black-and-white, that there is a bigger picture at work here which is part of a loving Universe and part of the Great Mystery. As I have matured spiritually, my gratitude for how this Mystery has shaped and guided my life has grown.

Horses have been instrumental in bringing much guidance into my life, which has, in turn, brought much joy and evolution to my Soul.