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“For what is it to die, but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And when the earth shall claim our limbs, then shall you truly dance.” –Khalil Gibran

529804_10200761687954187_153737364_nI don’t know what it is about dogs, but dogs just offer themselves wholly, wholly and holy. I could really let myself be a little girl with my dog Basha. Because of my increasing debilitation, I was training her weekly with a professional trainer to be a service dog. Her trainings began at 12 weeks and were consistent, because being a Great Dane she would eventually weigh 150 pounds and she would need to learn to be submissive, to be directed in order to be an excellent service dog. I took excellent care of Basha. In addition to her training regimen, I fed her human grade food that canines in the wild would eat. I took care of her, but really she took care of me. She did not have to be with me all of the time, but she needed to know where I was every minute of the day and who was with me. She just needed to know that I was safe and they were trustworthy. She was extremely discerning. If she had any reservations, she would lay on the floor in front of me, my Protector. I found her on the Internet in Victoria, British Columbia, but no doubt about it, I was her charge in life.

During my psychotherapy groups she was clearly my co-facilitator. When someone was sad or angry, she would go to comfort them. If they were inconsolable, she would lie by my side.

When she developed cardiomyopathy, or an enlarged heart at only seven years old, I really didn’t know what I would do with myself; the grief was unbearable. My heart was broken, but so was hers. Now, I needed to take care of her.

I don’t know how it happened; I don’t know how these things ever happen, but from a sense of total despair I suddenly felt a major, internal emotional shift of consciousness. The shift took the form of blasting my heart open. My human mind didn’t even know it was possible that the remnants of a shattered human heart losing her best friend and the betrayal of her likely premature departure could elicit such a profound shift in my Being.  My inner child had been saying to her literally every day since David left and way before her terminal diagnosis, “You are going to be with me always.” I probably said this to her multiple times per day. Most of me fully believed it was possible, that we could be together forever in our physical bodies. This part of me fully believed that she could comply with this magical thinking.

Something that began as a thoughtform and became an intention appeared mysteriously in my consciousness. It had been so different from the fear bubble I had been living in since her diagnosis.  It occurred to me what an honor it would be to be with my Beloved until her last breath. The level of intimacy, to care for my Beloved during her vulnerable sacred time was the greatest gift I could give her.

Little did I know that the shift of consciousness prompted by my Beloved would be just the surrender I needed to move forward gracefully in my rigorous curriculum. Animals are such generous Beings who come here to Serve for everyone’s Highest good. Who takes care of who?

I always told people that Basha was not a dog; she was a species higher than humans. I didn’t realize how profound and prophetic these words really were.