You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘sacred’ tag.

“It’s the stuff God hits your ass with, when he doesn’t want to kill ya, he just wants to slow ya down.” -Richard Pryor on MS

Leanne_Spiritual_Heart.341200433_stdI believe that people take on catastrophic challenges for different reasons, because in our deepest Being, we want to wake up; we want to evolve and we want to effect the collective evolution of humanity. That is not small potatoes. Otherwise, the Universe would be seen as an uncompromising, sadistic force, which I do not, cannot and will not ever believe; that is too antithetical to what I feel in my heart. Without my cumulative felt-perceptions nurtured over many decades and perhaps many lifetimes, I might have the consciousness of a chickpea, not meaning to disparage a chickpea. Sorry Rumi.

My belief system has been nurtured by my evolving love for myself and humanity. How could this curriculum be for anything but my betterment? When I feel moved to look deeper into the etiology of the illness I feel like an investigator looking for clues. Either we volunteer for these rigorous curricula or they are arbitrary, the latter of which I don’t believe for a minute given the outcomes I have witnessed and experienced. I also believe that we set up reminders along the way when we might be deviating from our chosen course. At these points, like breadcrumbs along the path, we face crossroads where free choice can be exercised to alter the trajectory.

I can remember making choices during my life that, in retrospect, were not in my best interest. Rather than seeing these choices as failures or even tests that would imply right or wrong, I see these moments as opportunities for my Soul to catch my attention. Based on the curricula chosen by the Soul, these nudges are instructive and they become louder and louder when ignored.

Working on surrendering my egoic willfulness, I suspect that I created a failsafe plan to get my attention that would not allow for error. Early in the illness, I felt punished and ashamed. Now I understand that the opposite is really true. Because I am a courageous soul with fierce determination, I set out a curriculum where surrender was the only option.

I can remember example after example of times in my life when I deferred my own judgment to other people’s opinions. I can remember denying my own intuitions and desires to meet other people’s needs. The most representative example of this self injurious behavior was after a marital separation where I was left emotionally devastated. It took two days to get myself out of bed and back to work, after six weeks of singing Amazing Grace for an hour each day while driving over the causeway to New Orleans, I gradually brought my life back to a place of joyful homeostasis. I began to dream of finding a small house for myself and the children that was only mine.

When my husband sensed my joy he requested  a reconciliation, I pivoted away from my dream to reconcile. I began having anxiety attacks like I had never experienced. I remember being unable to leave the car, but still I ignored them. In retrospect, these felt like wake-up calls that I systematically ignored. What could my soul do, but make the alarms louder? That was when the symptoms were beginning. But it is never just one incident; there are often many unheeded calls. Remember, the illnesses or injuries are not punishments. They are sacred breadcrumbs to assist your return to your chosen path.

Around this time the symptoms had begun. Instead of abandoning my dream, I needed to turn toward my dream, to empower it, to empower myself. Only in retrospect do it realize the significance of ignoring the prompting from my soul. I gave my soul no choice but to intensify the constriction. This was a loving gesture, like a parent creating instructive containment to assure healthy development in their child. There is no judgment regarding the required curriculum on a Soul level. Challenges and resulting behaviors are met with neutrality. What is most important is the return to a deeper sense of self-love. “God does not want to kill ya, just slow ya down.”

People design specific karmic lessons during their pre-birth planning to focus on developing particular traits, i.e. self-esteem, generosity, compassion, becoming more self-referential during their mortal lifetimes. I believe that becoming self-referential was central to my learning and being willful was in the way of making better choices that would deepen self trust. Okay, enter progressive degenerative illness  to affirm to my ego that my soul is in charge. From the perspective of this singular life, it seems like a big deal, but from the scope of thousands of lifetimes it is a mere speck in the bigger picture.

The hope and promise of a life fully lived brings with it the perspective of seeing our lives from the bigger picture perspective. With this understanding, suffering can be greatly reduced and deep joy and satisfaction attained from the knowing that we have done our best. It is for this intended outcome that I continue to log my Journey.

Advertisements

“We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.”–Thich Nhat Hanh

HealingMandala.jpg.w300h300When we talk about healing, what does this mean in its greatest sense? Does it mean the body heals? Does it mean that we feel better? What I have learned in my journey, is that true healing means bringing oneself to wholeness, understanding the totality of our existence; finding love from the inside out.

In my particular situation, I needed to understand that I was not my body. My body is, however, a vehicle to understand the totality of my soul. This can be mind-boggling, because we are not our minds either. The purpose of our physical incarnation is to have experiences and evolve. This in turn will grow and enrich our souls.

Many people who are born at this time, have chosen to enter into a challenging time in history, to be a helper. A light worker can be identified by taking on challenging circumstances and following it through to completion, or transformation.

In order to transform suffering, one has to enter the energy form of the suffering; the greatest healing happens from within the same vibrational frequency. Sometimes the healing manifests within the body, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the heart comes to completion and the body dies. Some of the most profound healings happen when people face their mortality. To limit the concept of healing to the physical body is reductive. Some of the deepest healings I’ve witnessed were when people were working with life-threatening illnesses that were degenerative and irreversible.

Some people believe that certain souls choose to take on significant challenges in order to move themselves and their soul families forward in their evolutionary trajectory. If this sort of curriculum is consciously chosen by the higher self and physical healing is not a part of the program,   and acceptance and joy can be attained, the transformational value is immeasurable.

There are many who believe in the orthodoxy of the “law of attraction.” This is a valid truth, but one needs to consider that sometimes the soul attracts what is in the individual’s highest good, not necessarily what the ego wants. My ego would never have chosen this curriculum. But, in retrospect, and in view of the bigger picture prospective, I acknowledge my courage and growth and the evolution of those my life has touched.

Healing is a complex, mysterious and Sacred Journey. In expanding one’s understanding of true healing, our soul’s capacity for love and empathy expands. And, according to me, my fellow travelers and the Hokey Pokey, that’s what it’s all about.

“Die before you die and find there is no death…”-many mystics

Hibert_LTD_V2I died again. Not in the literal sense, but what is literal? Is it metaphor or allegory if my whole identity shifts from who I think I am in my ordinary life to who I truly am, in a greater sense? That is what happened… again.

Sometimes, there is a shift in consciousness that makes the colors brighter and my heart burst out of my chest. Now that is literal.

I have been preparing for a ten week commitment to begin after the new year, in order to focus on increasing my sense of Presence. With the intention of giving this to myself, I felt a blow to my solar plexus in the form of deep shame. I could call it my Achilles’ heel, an issue that threatens my feeling of Wholeness, when I least expect it. When I hear of someone developing a program or protocol after healing from a life-threatening illness, that scenario can trigger a belief in my deepest failing.

It hit me yesterday, full force, touché right to the gut. Why did I not heal? I have followed all of the protocols, programs and intuitions that have seemed sure to bring total healing. In my psychospiritual work, I have attained every state those who have healed attained. Did I make a Faustian pact, an agreement based on fear of being totally who I am in every facet, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually? I can remember feeling the fear, the contraction, like coming out of the dark room and being overwhelmed by the sunlight..

In order to fully grasp how profound this is, I have to review a similar shift from a previous blog entry:

While I was fully experiencing the all too familiar yet diminishing sense of failure of healing physically, I felt an existential shift that was much like the one I described in a previous post while I was watching The Piano. That profound shift of consciousness was from a sense of victimization of losing everything during the course of the illness, to the empowering realization of, “wait a minute. I let that go, and I let that go, and that…” I think this shift was from the egoic belief on the level of the body to the greater Truth that, “I made a conscious choice to sacrifice my physicality for my greater evolution.” I recognized that I would have otherwise gotten lost in nonstop movement, nonstop physical play. I recognized this addictive tendency and my higher self chose this teaching!

SACRIFICE–the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to do something else or help someone or surrendering a possession as an offering to God. The root of sacrifice is SACRED; therefore, a sacred offering.

With this insight, my whole life made sense. I cried. I cried because I saw the lie in the belief in failure. I knew that this is what I would understand on the other side. I felt the difference between falseness and Truth. I felt the liberation. I knew that the illusion was that death was final. I felt the transcendence of Truth and the release from my physical body; my dear, sad, suffering physical body, my vehicle for this revelation.

If we are fortunate, we die many deaths before the final transition from our physical body to Spirit. Yes, I died yesterday, again.

VISIT THE BLOG FOR MY NEW BOOK – MEET ME BY THE RIVER!

Go to - http://www.meetmebytheriver.net -- And you can find it on Amazon!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. more...

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 114 other followers

Advertisements